When I was a child, my father was in the military. He was stationed in Germany. He would come home for months but then he was also was gone for months at a time. My mother had my brother and then me as babies, toddlers, and small children while my dad was going back and forth to Germany. She was essentially a single mother. What was even worse for her is that she had ulcerative colitis. For those who don't know the symptoms of that are severe diarrhea that cause painful stomach cramps, severe vomiting and nausea, and just all around pain and misery. So while my mother had two babies by herself with a constant debilitating sickness, she was by herself until my father retired when I was eight years old.
I used to take all of this for granted until I had my own child. I knew it would be difficult. I knew it would not be a cakewalk. I want everyone who reads this to understand that. I also know that if I did not have the support I have through my mother and my husband, I would not be able to do it. In the beginning after I got out of the hospital, my recovery took a lot longer than was expected. While I was still in the hospital and the baby was at home it was my mom and husband who played parents. While they were at work my friend, Tamara, watched the baby. When I finally made it home I still couldn't take care of my baby because how bad off I was. If I happened to have been a single mother, I am sure that I wouldn't have been able to do it. I was heavily medicated for the first six weeks because of the pain that delivering the baby caused me.
Fast forward a couple of months. My baby by this time is rolling over and trying to crawl, but hasn't got it yet. I have developed hypothyroidism but I had no idea and I couldn't get it treated at the time. Symptoms of this is fatigue, depression, severe mood changes, etc. I was always tired and always wanted to sleep and having a baby who didn't want to sleep didn't help. Our marriage became strained for a little while because even though I was always tired, I still managed to take care of the baby and clean the house enough that the baby couldn't find something to choke on. The dishes weren't done everyday and the tables weren't completely cleaned off but for the most part the house was clean. Even though I wasn't by myself, I never got time to myself because my husband only spent a few hours with our baby between work and his sleep. When I wanted to sleep on his days off he told me that I need to spend more time with our daughter. I am not going to lie, for a while we slept in different rooms. If I was by myself at this time, I don't know what I would have done. I thanked my mom every day at this point, but I felt like I was abusing the help she was giving me.
Fast forward again to the present. Our beautiful daughter is now nine months old. She crawls at the speed of light it seems and wants to put everything she finds into her mouth. I am currently being treated for the hypothyroidism and depression. I have energy to clean the house, take care of my baby, and run errands. I can get so much done now. Even though I am much better now, I still rely heavily on my husband and mother. So I don't have to get my baby up when she is asleep just to go get my husband from work, I hand her the monitor or ask if she can watch the baby. If she says no I don't force her to, but she is a huge help to me. If I didn't have the support of my family and friends I still don't think I would have the strength to raise a baby.
So to sum up, I praise the single mothers out there who raise their children and raise them well. I am not talking about the single mothers who let their kids run wild. I am talking about the single mothers who have respectable children who know what is right and wrong. I praise the single mothers who have the strength to do whatever it takes to make sure your children have food by doing anything they can. I especially praise the single mothers who are severely ill but still manage to get up and go to work to make sure your child can eat. Mothers who even though they work and don't have people to rely on, they still manage to make they kids understand they are loved and they should love others, all the while being violently ill and dealing with it. I have a new respect for single mothers since I had my own child.
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